About Me
Name:Samantha Jane Age:18 From:Manitoba

Obessions: Pepsi, Internet, Sleeping, Whipped cream

Pissed List: Bossy people, when u dont listen, when you make me clean.

Happy List: Foods, singin inthe shower, happy laughs, seeing people do good things

Just to let you know..im a loser..

Mood: The current mood of lovelylife at www.imood.com

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March 2004

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Friday, March 26, 2004
 
A special Pointless memory.
A couple years ago, I got dropped off by the park at my place. It was raining. It was Spring. It was so beautiful, the first time I saw the green in the tress. The park looked so beautiful. I looked like I was in a picture.

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Im sick of it, my familly is fuckin physcho. Drunks. I love everyone of my family, but they are soo stupid. My Uncle was at my place this morning, he came back from jail. My auntie called the cops on him last night while they were having a party at her home. My uncle and her boyfriend were fighting. My auntie doesnt deserve kids. I feel really bad for saying it, but its the truth. Shes drinking and shes almost 3 months pregnant. What a bitch. Shes not stable with men, and Im scared one of my cousins will get hurt. All my aunties and uncles are fuckin drunks. My uncle is screwing everysingle woman in town. His stupid newest wife doesnt know a thing. He drinks alot. He tried picking up one of my friends at a party they were at. She bragged about it. I dont know whats so special about a 38 year old trying to pick you up. Hes my oldest uncle, and still hasnt learnt anything in his life. He tries to be my father. He should father his own damn kids. Hes got like atleast 13. Only four he claims. Hes such a man whore. really. I hate drunks. My Dad Johnny was a Man whore, to fat drunkin bitches. They dont even take care of themselves. Never trust any johnnys. They all cheat and break the laws. If you ever find a man whos name is johnny beware. Im never marrying a john, johnny, johnathan, johnson. nothing to do with johns.

I think its okay to drink. Im not saying its a bad thing. Its how you deal with it. Like if you drink while your pregnant, thats really bad. Or Drink and then beat up your family and friends. I drink sometimes, but not often. When I drink I dont go all crazy either. Im a responsible person. I think drinking is fun. I have no responsibilies right now, I dont have any kids, im not pregnant, I dont have a job. The only thing I have to do is go to school. Thats important.

I really really Hate drunks. My dad was a big time drunk.

IF your a STUPID DRUNK. I Hate you!!!! And If you are a stupid drunk, Your Family hates you too. If you have no family and are a stupid drunk, that just proves my point. If your a stupid drunk and have no friends, it because they dont like the way you are when your drunk, but your too drunk to notice.

My definition of a stupid drunk: A person who is constantly drinking, a person who depends their life on alchohal. Who Drinks to make their lives better. Who drinks and then beats up their children and wife, or anyperson. A person who Drinks while they are pregnant. Kids are stupid drunks. They think theyre so cool. A stupid drunk never knows they are a stupid drunk.

In my opinion, Drunks are selfish. I think its common sense to think that. The real drunks do it to earse problems temporalily. But they dont know they are effecting their families and friends.

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Thursday, March 25, 2004
 
Unwell
written by: Rob Thomas

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm heading for a breakdown
And I don't know why

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

[Chorus]

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

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Tuesday, March 23, 2004
 
Im pissed off right now. Help me, no one knows how to get me unpissed off. Its so hard to be unpissed off when your me. Im too stubborn. I get mad easily if you do it on purpose, even if you dont I do. But you deserve it. I dont like being pissed off. When Im pissed I become a huge bitch. Bitchy me. hee hee. Computers piss me off so much. I might kill it one day. One day youll see my computer flying out the window. Im so mad. But as I write this, it slowly goes away. Blogs really do help. They help you with your emotions.

My little cousin came today, I babysat them for free. They are such fun, but messy, and Hannah put marker makeup on my pony. My collection of ponys. I only had one though. I forgot to collect them, and collecting things are kinda a waste of money anyways. its just a way for people to get your money. Collect my panties, and Ill give them to you for just 34 bucks, thats a deal. Ooh.

Hannah and Tammi are so sweet.

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Go ahead and judge me. Its your judgment. I cant control what you think in your head. I cant change how your what's in your head. Everyone's perspective is different, depending on the person. I could change your perspective if I wanted, but I think its a waste of life. I'll just be who I am, and If your words effect me, then let it be. In 39 years I wont remember it anyways.

SO what's the point in telling you how you should think. I just think its pointless that people go through there whole lives defending who they are to those who don't care. I'd rather live my life, and just live it. I don't make sense. My head is scattered right now. Its often like that.

Most of the time, I wont judge you. If I judge you, that means your around me too much and annoying me. I don't care. My little blog update was pointless.

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Monday, March 22, 2004
 
Its my sexy mans birthday!!!! I love him so much. Hes the only man I love, the only one I will ever truely love, so he better not go running away from me. Im sure he wont, our love is strong. I love him really really much. Hes the only man I trust.
see you

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Saturday, March 20, 2004
 
My auntie is such a bitch. She pissed me off good for the first time in my life. She used to be a good aunty, a good mother, sister and daughter. She was a decent human for some of the time.

Well I hope she's happy. She ruined my happiness, for today. She got me back to normal. People don't really like me when I am happy. They try to put me where they are, and im not gonna try to pretend it doesn't bother me, because it does. When your bestest aunty insults you to your face, your gonna feel like shit. That wont make me turn my back on happiness. Its a work in progress. I would rather be happy for a short moment than none at all.

I think I have a new goal. Im gonna get used to this Happy thing, and Im gonna piss off the whole world. I'll be like that girl from grease, the big tall blonde one, I forget her name....but she pisses me off. I'll piss you off like .....Hey Ill be like Ned Flanders...and Ill have kids just like him. You'd be so lucky to be my neighbor, I would always bake you some of my "special" sugar cookies.

My evil happy plan made me happy....maawaaaahhhahahaha

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Friday, March 19, 2004
 
Unwell
written by: Rob Thomas


All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm heading for a breakdown
And I don't know why

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

[Chorus]

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

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eeeeeeee, lol. I get these sudden urges of Happiness. Its a lovely feeling. It makes me feel so happy and it makes me want to dance. I want to laugh. My heart dances. I want to speak. Im so happy, and Im all alone. I have noone to share my happiness with me. Damn, lol. I should phone a random number and start up a conversation. Im in the mood. Im so happy inside. Its a good feeling. I hope I can spread my happiness with whoever reads this, although I may make you feel like you need to puke. Its happiness. It better stay or Ill be pissed!!! Its a happy day.

Its gonna make me crazy if I keep it to myself. I feel as if I want to Dance in the rain. Dance with a total stranger. Kiss everything.

Im such a happy loser. Its Friday night, im home all alone being happy all by myself. lol...geeze im happy. Oh well its cool to be a loser. Its better than being a perfect person who never has fun, who never laughs and has no time to be happy. i love being a loser. whoohoo.

Whoever you are. I hope your Happy. If your not happy, I demand that you be happy with me tonight. Just think of Being a loser. Be fun. Laugh at yourself for staying home on a Friday night. Think of people farting. Think of nothing evil. Today, why dont you put the bad past behind you, and if you want you can leave it at that forever.

Be Happpeeeeee... You have the right to be happy.

Just be Happy... I will love you forever weather you like it or not.

I love being happy. Its better than being all depressed or mad.

Give happiness a chance.

Im not always like this, well not anymore.. Im usally mean and bitchy. so work with me...

see you my lovely veiwer friend. Remember be happy!

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Im so hungry. Im such a horny monster bitch right now.

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Thursday, March 18, 2004
 
I am still mad, and I still have no life. I have no money. I have only 2 bucks, and everyone is trying to steal it. So cheap, hey? Whenever I have money, friends and family seem to take it away. I never get to spend my money. Then when I do, they make me feel guilty..so guilty. Last Friday I had a hundred bucks, and about 10 dollars went to me. My bummy friend probably ate 20 bucks of mine. My mom borrowed 60, but I gave her 30. and 20 bucks went to me and whoever I felt nice to.

Whenever I get money, people think they can just take it away from me. I can see my friends eyes grow bigger when she sees that I have money. And they are so super nice to me, sucking up, and its hard to say no to that, otherwise they'll get mad and think your greedy. They automatically think that they take my money. If I earn it, it means its theirs too. People even borrow money from me to pay back other people, and they never pay me back for that. They think I should pay for it.

Today at school, my friend started crying like a bitch. Then she told me crazy little Josh touched her ass, now that's something to cry about. Josh is.. Creepy. If he ever touched my ass, I would knee his smelly nuts. Crack them open. Next time Josh harasses a woman at the college, hes expelled...hahahaha.


I hate being me.

My uncle is out of the hospital, My grandpa is in there.

Hello all you spy people who know me. This is what I really think In this head of mine. and you know what??? I secretly stare at all of your asses. yep, its true....

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Today, I am Mad!!!!
I was tryin to hide it, but then my mom started sitting on me. That got me in a grumpy mood. My moms evil laugh. She thinks Im Joking, but she should get it now, everytime she thinks that I am not joking. I am really Mad. My sister is a bitch for trying to figure me out.

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